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Joke of the Day

"Just once in my life... ...I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my dick is."

"First rule of ADHD club: Never talk about..Nice hat. You ever own a hamster? I did. Died. Watch me do a cartwheel! Ok, who wants brownies?"

"What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but no one can pee soup!"

"A man walked into a library and asked for a book on suicide. The librarian said, ""Jack off mate, you won't bring it back!""."

"What did the broke zombie amusement park say to the wealthy vampire golf course? I just need to get fundead."

"I did it Reddit! I finally did it! I finally made it to the front page!"

"What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a girl. The knife has a point"

"this nation needs a monument dedicated to its teens. how about a giant middle finger carved out of a mountainside"

"donald trump's immigration policy If he doesn't use #Mexit when describing his immigration policy it will be a missed opportunity."

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"