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Joke of the Day
"My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate."
Next Joke
"furniture disease i just got home from the doctor's and i have really bad news. turns out i have the furniture disease. its where your chest hangs down past your drawers"
"Why is it called xbox one? Because when you see it, you turn one degree and walk away."
"""The last thing I want to do is hurt you. First I want to date you & get to know you."""
"Relationships are like onions They seem harmless on the outside but once you get into it you'll cry."
"Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."
"People Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are full of hot air...I need to find a way to use it as renewable energy"
"He died doing what he loved Making toast in the shower"
"a busboy falls into a bottomless salad. hank holds back the new guy ""don't bother tryin to save him; he's gone.."" the screams slowly fade"
"""Easter?"" HERE ""Thanksgiving?"" HERE ""Christmas?"" PRESENT"