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Joke of the Day

"My ten year old made me pay him $10 to do the dishes, so I mugged him on his way to the bathroom because, you know, life lesson."

"Free wifi! Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?"

"What does the murderer say after he kills someone with a nail gun? Nailed it."

"Last week, I went to my doctor and told him I was constipated. He told me I was full of shit."

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"""Honey"" said Mrs. Beldon to her husband ""Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."" ""Encyclopedia my eye!"" exclaimed Beldon. ""Let him walk to school like I did."""

"How does a bass player turn off the lights before bed? He closes the car door."

"A Dark Joke What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food? Not everyone gets it"

"Yo mama so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company"

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."