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Joke of the Day

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"Two pigs went to a party, one got boared and came home."

"Keanu Reeves watching a Keanu Reeves movie trying to figure out how he's in two places at once."

"New frightening study released statistic that as much as 25% of Women are diagnosed clinically insane Especially frightening because that means there is 75% walking around undiagnosed"

"If your problem can't be solved by me saying ""that's messed up"" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn't come to me for help"

"Guys, I figured out a better way to pretend you died mid-type! All you need to do is hold dooooooooooooooooooooooo"

"What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion? Seeing your ex."

"What's the difference Donald Trump and my Vagina? One's a Cunt and the other has nice hair."

"Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them."

"Maybe just don't throw stones in any kind of house."