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Joke of the Day

"How is Wolverine's love life similar to a mishap at the laundromat? Someone else goes home with their Jeans."

"What do you call an Iguana that can't stand up straight? Ereptile Dysfunction."

"I once met a Redditor in Europe. His username Czechs out."

"Had a dream last night.. about eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed my pillow was missing."

"News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*"

"Where does the General keep hs armies? In his sleevies."

"What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?"

"What do you call a nice Canadian meal on a colorful roof? Poutina."

"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Hot."

"Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you"