91132

Joke of the Day

"What is a tuna's favorite city? Albacoreque."

"This sub is the best. It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10"

"How does a booze thief make you feel better? He lifts your spirits."

"When my kids get too loud in our minivan I simply race over the nearest speedbump to make them bite their tongues."

"A Neutron walks into a bar ""I'd like a beer,"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge."""

"A girl wants to go to the concert... She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, ""no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."""

"My buddy says he is the world's worst at self-deprecating humor. he worried once he was too modest. Then realized he was wrong."

"This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car."

"5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands"

"My dance partner dumped me for my best friend. Why? Was he a better dancer? Don't know I never met him."