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Joke of the Day

"This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car."

"Quentin Tarantino + Johnny Depp = Rango Django"

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."

"April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared."

"Look I can summon Australians Have you ever, ever felt like this?"

"I fucked up making my coffee today \#nofilter"

"My wife asked me to stop singing wonderwall. I said maybe."

"What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms? They both make up everything!"

"Ever heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog."

"Atheists, we get it. You don't have faith in anything except your ability to shove your lack of faith in the face of those who have faith."