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Joke of the Day

"This sub is the best. It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10"

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"Emo Kids: you've seen one, you've seen the mall"

"""President Trump, California is revolting!"" ""Yeah, and they're also threatening to secede."""

"I used to go out with a girl who was obsessed with graphs... she was always plotting behind my back"

"I played Two Steps From Hell to my cat, and she became a lion. I played it to my son, he's still a disappointment."

"""I'll be back!"" -boomerangs -and herpes"

"How many Im not saying she's a slut But jokes are there? Im not saying she a slut but: She's been boarded more times than Amtrak"

"What does a duck always have behind him? His buttquack"

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."