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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"Why couldn't Princess Leia get any dates? She was looking for Alderaan men."

"I saw a transvestite... wearing a T-shirt that said ""Guess"". Source: Demetri Martin. Person."

"Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?"

"I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though."

"What do you call a Vietnamese wedding? A Win-Win situation."

"I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo I haven't even got any coconuts."

"Do you know the difference between me and eggs? Eggs get laid."

"[JAIL VISITATION] WIFE: I got u a cake ME: U know I don't like sugar W: U need a BREAK, OUT of ur diet M: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle"

"For someone who said ""Correct me if I'm wrong..."" you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did."