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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Vietnamese wedding? A Win-Win situation."
Next Joke
"{At funeral} *holding widows hand* I'm sorry for your loss. He had so much updog ""What's updog?"" *pats her hand* Not much what's up with you"
"Mall cop wasn't going to let me park in the handicapped space. Then I showed him pictures of me dancing."
"If I ever opened a store that sold goats, I would call it Burlington Goat Factory"
"Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China"
"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"
"Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy... Lives in the White House."
"I'm really against picketing. I just don't know how to show it."
"It's too tight Girl:Its 2 tight Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly, Gal:Push it in, Boy:Ah..I cant, Gal:Its painful, Boy:Forget it. . . . . Well buy new WEDDING RING!"
"Success is like pregnancy... Everyone congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it."