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Joke of the Day
"What's a duck's favorite drug? Quack."
Next Joke
"A time traveler. Knock knock. Who's there?"
"When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing."
"So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way."
"Many people are shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician."
"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."
"I remember the difference between vertical and horizontal because vertical gives you vertigo and horizontal because whores get laid."
"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""
"Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years."
"Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word."