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Joke of the Day

"Many people are shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician."

"bleakest Russian joke i know ""children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"""

"I'm leaving reddit"

"Ten minutes into ""conspiracy theories and chill..."" ...we start gettin *illuminaughty.*"

"It is possible to chew and swallow $80 of shrooms in the length of time it takes the cop to walk from his car to yours."

"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."

"LPT: Never trust anyone who says ""trust me"". Trust me on this."

"The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg."

"My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got."

"If Elsa could bring snow to life why didn't she make herself some pets? I'd have like 50 snowcats by now."