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Joke of the Day

"I remember the difference between vertical and horizontal because vertical gives you vertigo and horizontal because whores get laid."

"What did the baker name her dog? Pido."

"*Skrillex' mother puts her ear to his bedroom door* *She hears constant bass drops* *Dad walks up* ""Sounds like he's Wubbing one out.."""

"A new drink Some bars are serving this new drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy"". It's notjing special, really. It's just a watered down Manhattan."

"What is the best way to pass the time on Tatooine? Watch the Dagobah"

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"Two cows were in a field. One cow says, ""Mooooo."" The other says, ""Jerk. I was going to say that."""

"This post is totally pointless circle"

"A hipster's favorite frequency is 50,000 Hz You've probably never heard it"

"Do you know the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi? Well, the people in Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but the people in Abu-Dhabi-Do."