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Joke of the Day

"My date seemed really excited when I said I had a horse's cock. For some reason she seemed disgusted when I took it out of the fridge."

"Ro-Ro-Robocop, Gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Killing bad guys in old Detroit in revenge for his murder."

"I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it."

"My girlfriend asked me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and slapped her"

"I'm going to the bathroom to take a dump Can I get you anything?"

"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... [OC] One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No, *CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""

"Apparently they're making a porno opera based on the music of Muse They're calling it 'Supermassive Black Hole'"

"A woman's JJ sized breasts saved her life in a car accident. Those same breasts were the cause of her husbands death in a motorboating accident."

"When Santa's helpers take pics of themselves is it called an Elfie?"

"Why did the Hipster order piping hot soup? He wanted to eat it before it was cool."