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Joke of the Day

"Ro-Ro-Robocop, Gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Killing bad guys in old Detroit in revenge for his murder."

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"What kind of pants do Bostonians wear? Car Keys"
"i don't think i'll ever get the recognition i deserve for being the world's biggest pessimistic narcissist"
"my resume is just one page that reads, ""i really need money, you guys,"" in an over-sized comic sans font."
"What was the best part about Narcos Season 2? [SPOILERS] Tata, Pablo Escobar"
"What do you call a bunch of black children playing in a pile of leaves? raisin bran"
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and not talking."
"""so doc... am I dying?"" ""we're all dying, just at different speeds"" ""but what about me"" ""You're like, the Usain Bolt of dying dude lmao"""
"Allow me to sum up the 90's for you. 90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945"
"I told my waiter, ""There's a fly in my soup!"" He said, ""It's possible, the cook used to be a tailor."""