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Joke of the Day

"Ro-Ro-Robocop, Gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Killing bad guys in old Detroit in revenge for his murder."

"What kind of pants do Bostonians wear? Car Keys"

"i don't think i'll ever get the recognition i deserve for being the world's biggest pessimistic narcissist"

"my resume is just one page that reads, ""i really need money, you guys,"" in an over-sized comic sans font."

"What was the best part about Narcos Season 2? [SPOILERS] Tata, Pablo Escobar"

"What do you call a bunch of black children playing in a pile of leaves? raisin bran"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and not talking."

"""so doc... am I dying?"" ""we're all dying, just at different speeds"" ""but what about me"" ""You're like, the Usain Bolt of dying dude lmao"""

"Allow me to sum up the 90's for you. 90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945"

"I told my waiter, ""There's a fly in my soup!"" He said, ""It's possible, the cook used to be a tailor."""