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Joke of the Day

"[offensive] What do books have that Mexican's don't? Papers"

"How many seasons are there in a dogs life ? Just one the moulting season !"

"Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine? Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout."

"I think my phone is mentally challenged... When I try to type 'with' it always replaces it with 28th."

"If an officer asks ""do you know why I pulled you over"" ""Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?"" is a bad answer, apparently."

"A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally."

"""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* - Spider tinder"

"knock knock! who's there? not trayvon martin -- that nigga dead!"

"For Christmas, I gave my wife a t-shirt and a dildo. I told her if she didn't like the shirt she could go fuck herself."

"I'd make a political joke... But it's too soon, the DNC tried to force one on all of us and we saw how that went."