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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff? Ford was my best friend."

"Louie C.K.'s Honda Civic joke at the Oscars Really struck Accord"

"[guy next to me at urinal] ""Is that a 5 or 6?"" ...about 5-1/2 I guess. ""Really? (looks at iPhone on my hip) Can I see it?"" *zips up* No."

"How do you turn a duck into a chart topping soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"

"Germany Cracks Down on Muslim Sex Attacks By Giving Girls No' Tattoos Other choices include ""No Anal"" ""No Creampies"" ""No Bukkake"""

"A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!"

"I asked my secret crush if she wanted to invest in my new invention idea, chloroform kleenex. She decided to sleep on it...at my place."

"What did the cow do when the farmer was about to hit him? He mooved"

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."

"I've never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects."