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Joke of the Day

"I had an odd-job man in to help me do some work around the house. I gave him a list of 10 things to do. He only did numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9."

"What can you add to any food to make it taste better? The word ""free"""

"Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport."

"TIFU by reposting Just kidding. You fuckers love reposts."

"I'm a social vegan I avoid meet"

"Republican luminary Sarah Palin. If I have to explain then its not funny. If I have to explain then you most likely voted for the Republican luminary Sarah Palin."

"What's the difference between sand and period blood? You can't gargle sand."

"When I see someone's name trending on twitter, I used to be afraid they died. Now I'm afraid they're a Republican presidential candidate."

"What do you call somebody who pretends to play on a player piano? A Penis"

"""Boo!"" -- cow with a cold"