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Joke of the Day

"What can you add to any food to make it taste better? The word ""free"""

"At the water cooler, just ""accidentally"" splashed my pants to hide some pee. This Christmas, I'll give the office a chocolate fountain."

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to ""knock"" the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl... but then they realized that was queer."

"Do you want to hear a trick to get a head in life? Murder"

"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."

"[NSFW] Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."

"Where does Hillary Clinton eat at to appeal to Asian voters? Pander Express."

"A blind man walks into a bar ""Ow!"" he exclaims. The bartender responds by saying that he doesn't know that drink."

"I went to the zoo today. The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shitzu."