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Joke of the Day
"I play the triangle in a reggae band... ... I stand at the back and ting"
Next Joke
"Hungry priests A group of hungry priests walk into a restaurant. One orders the fish. They all leave satisfied."
"I walked into my glass door today Oh the pane..."
"But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom? I mean, look at their costumes."
"I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."""
"Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note."
"I saw a guy struggling with the frozen vending machine trying to get some ice cream. Really paralleled my attempts to reach my ex-girlfriend's heart."
"My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow.."
"Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo."
"Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?"