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Joke of the Day

"I play the triangle in a reggae band... ... I stand at the back and ting"

"My damn neighbours bang on the walls at all hours of the night It's so bad sometimes that i can hardly hear myself practising the drums"

"Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time"

"Sure, Sally, I'll just buy one of your shells BY THE SEA SHORE. Oh, wait, here's one just laying here, you skank."

"*after 7 hours in a Chinese restaurant* Me to waiter: ""Actually, do you think I could have a fork?"""

"I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably."

"What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead."

"When decorating your tween daughter's room, don't forget to leave ample space for half the glasses in your kitchen."

"If I commit suicide, it'll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times."

"I'm having a problem in Call Of Duty. I go to the menu and....... alright I guess by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites"