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Joke of the Day

"FIANCE: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota"

"Everyone should know at least how to fish... So everyone needs learn to be a master baiter."

"What did one nut say to the other? Nut-thing! ....I'll see myself out."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It can be a load of shit."

"Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!"

"What do you get if you cross a retard and a graffiti artist? Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence."

"I used to be poor. Then I found a thesaurus now I am impecunious."

"What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake."

"A pirate walks into a bar... ...With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, ""Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""