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Joke of the Day

"The government closed my non-profit clean needle exchange because we were just wiping 'em off with an old rag."

"""how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode"" - creator of zebras"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalatapus"

"A local nightclub held a special ladies night for double amputees. The place was crawling with pussy."

"*calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*"

"I've kept my New Year's resolutions. 1680x1050 and 1280x800."

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"PSA: This year, lets refrain from the 'I haven't taken a shower since last year!' jokes. Please and thank you."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizzas? Little Caesers"

"Timmy was a chemist's son. But Timmy is no more. What Timmy thought was H2O was H2SO4."