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Joke of the Day

"A local nightclub held a special ladies night for double amputees. The place was crawling with pussy."

"I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over."

"I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are."

"After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time"

"I'm thinking of taking up animal hoarding. Where can I get 37 armadillos this time of night?"

"Advice on getting a girl everytime My friend told me to use oysters, they work every time. I replied bollox she will notice them floating in her drink."

"My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face. I wear contacts."

"Calculus derives me crazy!!"

"Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? That's where you wash all your vegetables!"

"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store."