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Joke of the Day

"Why do people say love is like chemistry? Because you can put it in someones drink"

"I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno buisness. ... I'll let my self out."

"Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a ""clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend"" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM"

"Put the punchline in the title. How do you piss off a redditor?"

"There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint. They collide... All the survivors were marooned."

"What do you call an Asexual who tries to be hetero? an Ace in the Hole."

"What do we want? An Iphone for fat fingers! When do we want it? BOW!"

"What do you call a fish that stands out? Out of plaice."

"I bought my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I know it's not the best gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."