102801

Joke of the Day

"Why did the midget cross the road? Because he was getting chased by two assholes still drunk from St. Patrick's Day."

"I worked at a restaurant It didn't pay much, but at least it put food on the table."

"Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One."

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."

"Drilling into American House Walls is like paying into German Welfare risky as fuck."

"A sad dad joke A woman is at her father's deathbed. She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. ""Dad, I'm sorry,"" she whispers. ""Goodbye, Sorry,"" he says, ""*I'm dead*."""

"I like my women like i like my toilet paper. Soft, but not weak."

"This girl on tinder was so ugly I swiped left, pay for the undo just so I can swipe left again."

"When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, ""I have now."""

"What do you get when a dyslexic tries to make a gif? Peanut Butter."