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Joke of the Day
"When I went scuba diving the guy gave me the wrong breathing gases, what an oxy moron."
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between a corvette and a blowjob? Your mom didnt give me a corvette"
"What did the black mother name her 5 daughters? Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart? She called them by their last names!"
"Fcuk you Adobe! I spend more time downloading Adobe updates than i've ever spent using Adobe."
"Anybody have plans to stare at their phone someplace exciting this weekend?"
"6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh"
"What sea mammal controls Nazi Germany? Adolf-in"
"Try toasting... It raises your spirits."
"I swapped my wife's parachute around with her backpack. Now when the bitch goes on her stupid camping holiday, all she will have is a parachute. *copypaste from sickipedia.org*"
"What was the ninja pigs' surprise attack called? Hambush"