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Joke of the Day
"When I went scuba diving the guy gave me the wrong breathing gases, what an oxy moron."
Next Joke
"Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin? Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out."
"Pretty sure my dog would make a shitty astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare him"
"I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face"
"Why don't more people cook Armenian food? Because it can be very thyme-consuming."
"Boyscouts vs. Jews What is the difference between a boyscout and a jew? ... Boyscouts come back from their camps."
"I would like to think money won't change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil."
"I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues We make a small prophet."
"If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead."
"What did the sick gyro say to the other gyro? I falafel."