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Joke of the Day

"I would like to think money won't change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil."

"Bad jokes are hereditary They pun in the family."

"What do you call a rich male redhead? A Gingerbread Man. I'll just close the door behind me..."

"Girls are like dead babies... There's several in my basement"

"A pianist is currently on trial. He was accused of fingering A Minor."

"OBAMA REVEALS HES A KID STANDING ON A KIDS SHOULDERS. ROMNEY COUNTERS BY REVEALING HES 3 TINY KIDS. 20 BABIES TUMBLE OUT OF BIDENS CLOTHES"

"I feel I'm at my most culturally sensitive when I call Dell tech support and don't scream, ""What the fuck are you saying?"""

"The Week Off? Me: Sorry boss, i can't come in today, i have a wee cough Boss: you have a wee cough? Me:Really?! thanks boss, see you next week!"

"I had a teacher in high school who always assumed we'd give the wrong answer. ""What's hotter, green or red peppers?"" Green ""Nope. Green."""

"Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit? The Khajiit."