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Joke of the Day

"If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead."

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"what if it doesnt want to be called hot sauce???? what if it wants to be called beautiful sauce"

"My SO and I recently decided we don't want to have kids... I think the kids are taking it the hardest"

"My son said he didn't think Seinfeld was funny Turns out he's not the Wiz"

"Why did Lebron leave Miami? Because he just couldn't stand the heat"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles. (read it out loud if you do not get it)."

"The past, present and future walk in to a bar... It was tense."

"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."

"Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name"