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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Mod and a cheat? Mods can be [deleted]"

"Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym."

"Inflation joke Due to inflation, a picture is now worth only 436 words. Thanks obama."

"BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]"

"Why do baby birds love Amy Schumer's comedy? They can't handle anything that hasn't been consumed and regurgitated."

"Do you like fish sticks? Who are you? Kanye West?"

"CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE WIFI OUT"

"Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda? She thought it was diet coke"

"Knock knock.. (feat. My 9yo brother) Knock knock.. \*sigh..\* Who's there? Interrupting doctor Interrupting doct-- You have cancer."

"Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?"