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Joke of the Day

"I wouldn't really mind being left to my own devices as long they were fully charged and there was WiFi."

"Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans? They'll steal all of the green cards."

"[weather guy on TV] ""Today there will be 12 clouds. One is called Simon"""

"friendzone how many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'"

"Why did Adolf Hitler commit suicide? Artificial Intelligence."

"Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too"

"""Daddy, I-"" *presses button for soundproof backseat divider Wife: ""HOW MUCH DID-"" *presses button for soundproof passenger seat divider"

"What do you call an ""Asian"" that loves using moisturizer? Laotian."

"Today sucked so much it featured a guest verse from Pitbull"