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Joke of the Day

"A man sells his parachute... The man yells ""Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!"""

"There's a nudist convention in my town next weekend I might go if I've got nothing on"

"Texted Mom a question & she didn't answer right away. I'm going to send 4 more texts & 3 voicemails to give her a taste of her own medicine."

"My neighbors look so happy. We can fix that."

"Why don't you hire a violinist as your babysitter? Because he might fiddle with your kids."

"*Cookie Monster finishes cookie, looks into camera* ME WANT TO TALK ABOUT ISRAEL"

"A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"" Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom..."

"Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?"

"I would lose weight ... But I hate losing ..."

"What's your least favorite joke format and why is it this one?"