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Joke of the Day
"Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!"
Next Joke
"Two fish swim into a wall One looks at the other and says *""Dam!""* #oldbutgold"
"How does a nucleus get out of prison? Through the cell wall. *Badum tss* :D"
"How many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb? No IT guys change light bulbs, they just keep flicking the switch on and off again until something happens."
"This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg."
"Q:what do you catch when you go ice fishing A:a cold"
"If you think your girlfriend has a great sense of humor... try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes."
"A blind guy walks into a bar... And into a table.. and a chair..."
"There once was a magician who got so angry... That he pulled out his hare."
"Doctor: ""I'm afraid-"" *Wife crying* ""I'm afraid your husband is in a better place now."" *cut to me on a roller coaster at Disneyland*"