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Joke of the Day
"A blind guy walks into a bar... And into a table.. and a chair..."
Next Joke
"I was walking through the cemetery.. Saw a guy crouching behind a tombstone. I said, ""Morning.."". He said, ""No. Taking a shit."""
"My new years resolution is to have more sex! I Haven't told my cellmate yet though"
"The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close."
"Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends? They can't defend their towers."
"My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this."
"It's mean to give a homeless person money for food without giving him money for a phone too... How do you expect him to Instargram the food?"
"What kind of woman are the most irrational? The ones with the golden proportions!"
"Did you read the article about corduroy pillowcases? ... They're making headlines."
"You find out who your real friends are when all you have left to offer is friendship."