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Joke of the Day

"Today a man knocked on my door And asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"I walked up to a windmill and said, ""What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?"" ""...I'm not a big fan."""

"Maybe if we press ""2"" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the ""1"" line."

"Did you hear about the Polak who won a Gold medal in the Olympics? He was so proud he took it home and had it bronzed."

"Why did the duck go to the basketball game? He heard the ref was blowing fouls!"

"Live today like it's your last day. But pay bills and dress appropriately just in case it isn't."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chamber alive..."

"So a midget psychic broke out of jail the other day... the headlines read ""small medium at large"""

"Why is camping so much fun? It's intense!"

"What war did a fat person fight in? Viet-nom-nom-nom"