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Joke of the Day

"So a midget psychic broke out of jail the other day... the headlines read ""small medium at large"""

"What do you call a Latino on a trick bike? A BMXican."

"I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one."

"Ellin Pao is a perfect redditor... A predditor, if you will"

"Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass."

"I read murder mystery books starting from the middle. I like the double sided suspense that builds up."

"When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine."

"A Newfie walks into a doctor's office... And says ""Doc b'y, I tinks I got dat H2N2 disease."" Doctor replied ""ummm...don't you mean H1N1?"" Newfie says ""No b'y, dis is twice as bad as dat!"""

"A black man walks into a bar and robs it."

"Is it a blow job or a blowjob? Fuck I hate writing thank you cards..."