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Joke of the Day

"Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population."

"How does ISIS listen to its favourite tunes? On a boombox."

"I was passing a Chinese restaurant the other day on my way home... And thought ""when in Rome"" so I got general tso's"

"I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"I was gonna make a gay joke... Butt fuck it"

"I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins"

"Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period."

"Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED"

"Keep calm and pretend today isn't Monday."

"What happened when the Italian chef died? He pasta away"