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Joke of the Day

"I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them."

"What's the difference between a bucket of sand and period blood? I can't gargle a bucket of sand."

"My favorite book to read on the toilet is ""The Shining."" It scares the shit outta me."

"How do Chinese name their kids? They throw silverware on the ground!"

"Knock knock Who's There? Adjust. Adjust who? Adjust lost the game."

"That awesome moment when you comment and get more likes than a person who has tried to insult you in their status. Priceless."

"Girl, are you an unicorn? Because I wish you were real... ...Damn I am lonely"

"what happens when you cross the Atlantic with the titanic? about halfway"

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible, But it's also terrible."

"Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around."