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Joke of the Day

"I watched ""The Edge of Tomorrow"" hundreds of times there seems to be an awful lot of alternative endings though."

"I'm enthralled by curling. No, not enthralled. What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia? That."

"Women wanted him, men wanted to be him, geese were skeptical"

"What's the difference between jews and scouts? The scouts come home from the camp."

"Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks."

"Pal: ""on your date, ask her about herself. Oh! And girls love a guy into animals"" Me: ""how much do you weigh? about as much as baby cow?"""

"Why is it that lawyers get sick? It's because they are *contract*ually obligated to do so."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""That's not funny."""

"I own box sets of both the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises in case you were wondering if virginity can grow back."

"mum just asked me why i was putting icecream on my oatmeal and w/o hesitation i said ""im one of the most dangerous minds of my generation"""