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Joke of the Day

"Pal: ""on your date, ask her about herself. Oh! And girls love a guy into animals"" Me: ""how much do you weigh? about as much as baby cow?"""

"Every woman should have four pets... A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed...and a Jackass to pay for all of it"

"Personally, I'm fine with what Reddit's admins are doing. It's fun watching them Digg their own grave."

"I once tried starting a private airline business But it never took off"

"What do you call an all black sorority? A minority"

"In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably."

"Why does the NSA only do anal? Because they backdoor their way into everything."

"""So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT."" - What not to say on a first date."

"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"

"""I think this cereal has gone bad."" *me drunk, eating Meow Mix*"