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Joke of the Day

"2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy! Me: Oh ok then 2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy! Me: huh? 2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY"

"Would you rather have parkinsons or alzheimers? Personally I'd rather have parkinsons, cos I'd rather have half a pint than forget where I've put it!"

"Someone asked me to make a joke about cancer... I said, ""Sorry I can't sir."""

"So a man comes in a bar Er, no, wait, I meant a horse. So a man comes in a horse..."

"Ever had sex so good... That you told your wife when you got home?"

"Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked? There was no bikini atoll"

"""I'm having a public meltdown!!"" - A Snowman, maybe."

"""The secret is that it's all in the wrist!"" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something"

"Doesn't it concern you that stick bugs are way more complex than stick people? They're on a whole other dimension"

"That'll do it! How do you kill a vegetarian vampire? You stab him with a steak to the heart."