90145

Joke of the Day

"How do you get ""Dick"" from ""Richard""? You ask him nicely"

"I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership I lost my focus"

"ME: it's horrible. I would wish it on my worst enemy GUY: you mean *wouldn't* ME: hahahahahaha you're sweet"

"Why did.. Q : Why did Manchester United go to Stamford Bridge? A : Four Nothing"

"Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in."

"We have it so good in America that once a year we voluntarily do migrant work and call it apple picking."

"What's a tick's favorite food? A tic tac"

"What did the cop say to his belly button? You're under a vest lol"

"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."

"They say you have safety in numbers... Sure, tell *that* to 6,000,000 Jews. [Source](http://youtu.be/Rzb_p1mRW1M?t=4m48s) I really recommend watching the entire video though, it's hilarious."