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Joke of the Day

"Why did.. Q : Why did Manchester United go to Stamford Bridge? A : Four Nothing"

"What's the worst thing about 1 ply toilet paper? It's already shitty before you use it."

"Why did the cultists adopt a dead child? They wanted to raise the dead."

"What do you call a cow who has just had an abortion? De-calf-inated"

"Why was the airport depressed? It had a terminal illness."

"With so many gay people nowadays... It's hard to keep them all straight."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Punch her in the face."

"Volkswagen upset a lot of people by not using AdBlue in their TDI engines... ...they really took the piss out of clean diesel."

"Who cares that Bush did 9/11? Its not that bad or particularly good. Its 82% that's a low ""B""."

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"