9

Joke of the Day

"He was a real gentlemen and always opened the fridge door for me"

"Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes."

"What do they call brassieres in Germany? Holdzemfromfloppen"

"This is the last pair of shoes I buy from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I just keep tripping."

"Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work. I'm not saying I'm a sex guru, but I know most of the ins and outs"

"A fish walks into a bar the bartender asks ""What would you like?"" the fish says holding his neck ""Water""."

"Did you hear about the popular underwear campaign? It was briefly successful"

"My Aunt Rosie has sent me so many Candy Crush invites that I've legitimately stopped loving her"

"Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building? It's a long story."

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."