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Joke of the Day

"Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes."

"If I had a time machine I'd alter the Big Bang Theory pilot episode so all the characters exploded in the very first scene"

"A German tourist walks into a pie shop on Fleet Street in London And tells the lady behind the counter, ""I would like to become a pie."" And so he did."

"Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: ""Probably not bees,"" says one scientist. ""Dear god what if it's bees?"""

"I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend."

"[OC] I went to prison for identity theft. Good news is I'm cell mates with a famous musician, bad news is I'm now Rick James' bitch"

"A Clown held the door open for me today It was a nice jester"

"How does Amazon Mexico pay its employees? In Jeff Pesos."

"I got a $400 ticket for playing pokemon GO in the car today. Most expensive in-app purchases EVER."

"Did you hear about the fight at the homeless camp yesterday? It was in tents."