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Joke of the Day

"[Safari hunt] (Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant) *Adjusts hat and shades* ""Elephant?. Yes that way."" *Points with trunk*"

"*writing resume* Strengths? I'm great at multitasking *explosion in kitchen* My popcorn! *car crashes through fence* I forgot I was driving!"

"The phrase ""A stone's throw"" has been discontinued. Please use ""In Wifi range"" from now on."

"What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as i suspected. wind."

"Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: ""Funny you don't feel Jewish."""

"What music service do potatoes like to use? Spudify."

"Chris Christie finally got a job in Trump's administration. He's going to be the border wall."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard I throw them."

"A Canibal realized his meal was undercooked. So he threw up his hands in frustration"