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Joke of the Day
"*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as i suspected. wind."
Next Joke
"What did Rouge say just before murdering Crimison? Hue hue hue"
"Why are under-endowed men likely to get lucky with homeopathic physicians? Because they like their dicks vanishingly small ..."
"Chick in front of me has 'Charley Horse' tattooed down the back of her leg. Cramp stamp."
"Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms out there! Scared you didn't I?"
"I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I need to quit masturbating I asked why and he said ""because I'm trying to examine you!"""
"*Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!"
"That awkward moment when ur mom doesn't know the words to a song so she screams ""HAIL SATAN"" & explodes"
"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"
"What's the funniest thing you have heard about US Politics? Donald Trump, President of the United States of America"