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Joke of the Day

"What goes ""Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, clip clop, clip clop""? Amish drive by shooting."

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"It's a long shot... but does anyone know a good joke about a sniper?"
"What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees? TIMBUUUUUUUURTON"
"There are so many scary things in life: -fear -hate -murder -injustice -the woman in line behind me who just said ""boughten"""
"Hey girl, are you a grape? Because you are raisin my dick"
"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should go for it, slow down, or just stop!"
"Why are the busiest paleontologists always rednecks? Because they are always caught up in some type of relative dating."
"I've grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine."
"I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say ""uh-oh!"" from another room."
"My social outings consist of the ""maybe attending"" events I never attend on Facebook."
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