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Joke of the Day

"Do you have something against black people?!?!!? Yes, an alarm system."

"Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance."

"I almost ate that little packet in the shoe box. Good thing it said 'do not eat'. That was close."

"Eminem made $3.3 mil for 2 concerts over the weekend. Can't WAIT to hear his next album, about how shitty his life is"

"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage........ I used to shave my privates with one , but I don't have the balls to do that now."

"Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel."

"Girl are you a mathematician? 'Cause you turn my quadratic parabola into a linear straight line."

"You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.... I gotta lilo."

"Oh, you asked if I had a perfect BEACH body. Now I see why you were confused when I said ""Yes, I'm round, ripe & covered in fuzz."""

"Hey, say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they slow down in school zones."