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Joke of the Day

"I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire? A: A sucker"

"What's the longest word in the world? Smiles. Because there's a mile between each 'S'."

"Jim Lehrer is moderating this debate with the skill of an NFL replacement referee."

"Stop smiling so big in every photo of you. You can't be that happy all the time. Smile like a normal person who isn't a raging psychopath"

"What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!"

"So a termite walks into a bar and asks ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"Why did the walrus go to the container store? To find a tight seal. "

"What's Kayne West's least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading"

"Dealer: You followed? Geologist: No man. Its cool. *dealer opens trenchcoat and metamorphic rocks fall out Geologist: Gneiss... Gneiss"

"Why was the woman sent to jail for 12 months, while the man got a year? Because there needs to be a period at the end of each sentence."