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Joke of the Day

"The things that you love are what makes you who you are. I guess that makes me large breasts...."

"You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."

"Murphy's wife told him he should put a pair of clean socks on every day. By Friday he couldn't get his boots on."

"There is one instrument I just can't stand.. The Sitar"

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your veranda? Patty O'Furniture."

"There once was a man from Kent... Who's dick was so long that it bent To save him much trouble He put it in her double and instead of cumming, he went."

"I keep forgetting - which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"

"Femenist Social studies... Why did the femenist fail her social studies class? She didn't wanna learn his story...."

"COMMENCE ANNIHILATI... Sorry, wrong notes, that's tomorrow's speech. Here's the right one: You have nothing to fear from Project Omega ..."

"I didn't know what happiness was until I got married. But by then it was too late."